So I’m in California for the next 3 years…
Wow, I just read through my blogs in Afghanistan and my first posts being back home in America and then Italia. I know that it’s been a year since I’ve actually written on here. For some reason while in the shower tonight, I realized that I haven’t really written a lot of my thoughts down in a long time. I miss being able to share my thoughts-some private and some guarded…but after a year of not posting, where do I even begin? I say let’s start at the end…and then go back to the beginning.
Currently, I am staying in Carlsbad, California with some amazing friends of mine as I transition to my new job and new life in California. It was just ten days ago that I left Italy, and I already feel so far away from it all. My last night in Italy was the finale of Hannah Palooza-a five-day, ongoing celebration of my departure…going out “with a bang,” if you will. We had a United Nations potluck that night hosted by my friends Sebastian and LaTarya (“Sebastian and Smith’s” will be the name of their restaurant/catering company one day…). I remember sitting and eating dinner when Sebastian announced that we were going to go around and talk about a memory or two that we remembered of Hannah. It was in that moment that I decided that maybe my last few memories in Italy weren’t necessary the best, or even a little bit blurred, despite having the time of my life. My friends were gracious and spared plenty of details publically, but it was in that moment that I realized in my seat, with that deep and sunken feeling in my heart, that I was starting to become a person that I didn’t want to be. Most of the “stories” were related to alcohol and partying. Granted, there were a lot of fun memories, and some not so memorable, but I remember thinking to myself, “I wish that I was here much longer so that I can prove to these guys that I’m not the Hannah that they think I am.” There I was, crying out in my own heart to be known as someone that had higher morals and values-someone that they could come talk to about life because I was looked up to. At the end of the night, I felt like “Schmannah” as someone so kindly nicknamed me from the entire previous month of drinking and partying. I didn’t take any offense to it, but I’ve realized that if I have a nickname from an alter ego that comes out when I’m drinking, then that’s really not where I want to be in life. Okay, so you’re probably thinking to yourself-“Hannah’s beating herself up right now. Why is she being so hard on herself with the partying and drinking?” Because at the end of the day, that’s not who anyone wants to be. It’s nice and temporary to be “the life of the party” or “the social coordinator” of a group or “the fun girl,” but how can you take that type of person seriously? What most of you probably don’t know is that the real Hannah is pretty introspective and quiet. I like to be by myself sometimes-to think and to just be. I love running because that is my time in the day to think and collect my thoughts. I actually am a very deep person and am opinionated with just about everything. If you were to describe Hannah, I hope that you would say, “Big heart. Loves to give. Confident. Never wants to miss out. Loves people.” The deep side of me would say, “Broken heart. Healing. Has insecurities. Afraid of being alone. Worried about her career and future.” I say all of this in honesty to make this point-It’s so much easier to party your butt off and live your life to the fullest in order to cover up what’s really going on deep down inside. I left Afghanistan an emotional wreck…from the things I saw every day like body parts in an operating room, buckets of blood on the floor from bloodshed, the Marines and Soldiers that I would talk to who witnessed horrific things and watched their comrades die-all these things and memories that I’ve pushed deep down inside. Who wants to hear this stuff, really? Who understands it, really? Who knows what I mean when I say that I saw a man with both of his legs so torn to shreds from an improvised explosive device that I had to hold on to just the skeletal bone of his leg while surgeons cut off the dead flesh that was dangling from what was left of his lower trunk. NO ONE wants to hear that. NO ONE understands that unless they’ve been there. To be honest, I haven’t really dealt with it all. I was reminded of Afghanistan today when I was walking from one building of the hospital to the next outside and felt the ground shake and the echoing noise of the recoil of a tank after a round from a mounted gun on an M1A1 Abrams tank went off. Loud noises-big boom noises-scare the CRAP out of me. Would you say that all of this is PTSD? Some would say that it is. Others would say that it’s a result of life experience. I say it’s the residual effects of dealing with war. Afghanistan is a completely different part of the world. The culture, geography, people, smells, way of life-everything is COMPLETELY different that one sensory reminder can bring it all back in a split second. Call me crazy, but I think that’s a normal human condition. I get it. The general public doesn’t really because they haven’t been there. One should never judge a servicemember that has…but, I digress. Back to reality. I’m in California. Can I just say how excited I am to be here? Everyone here is healthy, for the most part, or at least appear to be living an active, healthy lifestyle. I feel healthier after these 10 days of not really drinking, eating healthy, sufficient sleep, and working out. It’s been 10 days of detox to be honest…I’m glad, though. My body has needed it.
Since I got back from Afghanistan, I traveled a LOT. My first trip was to Rome for a college weekend themed pub crawl; then Tunisia (Labor Day weekend 2010); then Oktoberfest in Munich (mid-late September); then Perugia for the Chocolate Festival. Columbus Day was in Malta and Gozo; Halloween was in Palma de Mallorca; holiday season in Napoli for Thanksgiving with plenty of NATO soccer playing; and then Christmas at home in D.C.; New Year’s in Berlin, Germany; Back to D.C. for IKM and PRM’s wedding; Morzine, France and Swiss Alps for skiing late January-early February; President’s Day weekend in Venice; Chianti Wine Tasting in March; St. Patrick’s day in Dublin, Ireland; Florence the end of March; Paris Marathon in early April; Queen’s Day in Amsterdam at the end of April; Cinque Terre mid May; French Riviera Memorial Day weekend; Prague in mid-June; London at the end of June into early July for the Wimbledon, the Henley Royal Sailing Regatta, and to watch David Guetta and the Black Eyed Peas; Running of the Bulls in Pamplona in mid-July; Ibiza, Spain in mid-July; Filipino Food Cookoff at the end of July; Boating to Ischia in early August; Athens and Santorini, Greece mid August; Hannah Palooza my last weekend in Italia to Ischia; and now I have moved and am living in California! LOTS AND LOTS of travel. Non-stop since I’ve gotten back. So you see how my life has been non-stop and how I may have needed a break for a while. I’m in California and I’m getting antsy because I’m so used to that pace of life. It’s time to slow down, though, so I’m allowing myself mentally and physically to re-adjust. California is the PERFECT place for that too. I am pretty excited for the next three years of rest!
After all of that, one would ask if I am insane. No, I just try to make the most of the time that I have given certain opportunities. I’m bummed that I won’t be able to travel and hop from one place to the next, but I am also optimistic for the results of having some down time in my life to re-adjust to reality back in the States.
It really is pretty crazy to be back. I miss my friends and the comfort of what I know, but I’m not going to miss the pace of the lifestyle. I’m okay where I am absolutely right now. California has a different take on life. Active, and yet, healthy. I’m starting to get ahold of how that translates into my life, but I’m open to that and I want to be with my family more. I’m going to start going back to church and learning how to be still. I need to truly rest on all levels-mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I can already feel the change within me, but I’m happy and I like it. More to come…
Back in Italia! Thoughts and honest feelings…
The view off of my back patio! I love Italia in the summer! Bella Bacoli!
So, it’s been ten days since I’ve been back in Italy…Talk about double culture shock. Afghanistan back to the States and then from the States back to Italy…Like the Beatles say, “Obladi, Obladah! Life goes on…la, la, la, la life goes on.” Lots of transition in the past few months and now, but hopefully things will start to settle down. New job, living back in my apartment again, re-adjusting to the culture, new faces, new car, new way of life…I forgot how much I really missed Italian culture! I have grown to appreciate the Italian family-centered culture from being away. I have to figure out how to fit the pieces back together and realize that the life I left before going to Afghanistan is no more…I am a changed person with a different life perspective and I have realized what my priorities need to be. Even the idea of feeling “normal” is new! (Honestly, though, isn’t the term “normal” merely something relative?)
Going from 12 cylinders to about 2 has been a bit of an adjustment…but good! It’s been a while since I’ve been forced to slow down.
I was asked to give a speech last week in front of my peers at USNH Naples on what I did and how Afghanistan was…It was really hard to speak publicly without getting really teary-eyed. Maybe it’s all still too fresh for me…but I’m okay with having honest feelings because I know what we all did out there. I know what the rest of our company is still doing out there. It’s definitely easy to get back into the groove of life, and completely try to block out everything that has happened in the past 7 months. I don’t want to, though. I have never felt more real and alive than I did when I was over there. I felt like I belonged to something greater. I knew that I mattered, that what I did every day was making a difference in this war, despite feeling like it was an enternity. We didn’t care about awards or accolades. We cared about each other and the Marine, Soldier, Airmen, or Sailor lying on our operating table or in our shock trauma platoon bed or in the combat support hospital’s ICU bed. You can only imagine how hard it is to come back because it feels like everything else seems mundane. I have to take a step back though…How blessed am I to be able to come back and live in such awesome beauty and culture? I am blessed. I am loved and supported by my family and friends. For these things, I am truly grateful. 
Dad and I after the Welcome Home Warrior Ceremony…August 18, 2010
Being in Italia has taken on a new meaning for me. It’s time to celebrate life. To celebrate all of the things that I have taken for granted for so long. This is time for Hannah. Time for moving onto new chapters, new friends, and new memories to be created…The memories that I have of Afghanistan will forever be stained and engrained in my life.”I am an American, fighting in the forces which guard our country and our way of life. I am willing to give my life in it’s defense.”-That first article in the fighting man’s code of conduct takes on a whole new meaning for me. The playing of the national anthem or raising of the American flag all mean so much to me now. I get it. I get why I was sent to the desert this past year-to be humbled, to give back to those serving us, and to truly come to understand and appreciate why we as military servicemen do what we do. We are just doing what we have been trained to do. It does not make us perfect, but rather slightly blemished and forever changed. I truly am proud to be an American and am proud to be serving alongside those that have served and will continue to serve in the days to come…I am thankful for life and the opportunity to live it freely! God truly has been so good to me!
So this is what happens after the fact…
Fashion Valley, San Diego, CA with Lola and Mom; Diamondhead Cove, Honolulu, Hawaii with Dad, Josh, and I; P-3 RIMPAC mixer-Australia, Japan, Korea, United States-Dad, Josh, and I; Olomana Peak Hike with Danielle overlooking the western coast of Oahu-Kailua, Hawaii
I just spent nine days in California and thirteen days in Hawaii…I can’t believe that it’s already been three weeks since I got home. In hindsight, my initial emotions upon returning back to the States were excitement, mixed with nervousness, and a general sense of feeling overwhelmed. In addition, I was stressed to be back because there was so much to do from checking back into our deployed command, to returning gear, to consolidating luggage and gear from different places I had stored them in California, to spending time with friends and family, to preparing for Hawaii and going back to Italy, to beginning to think about next summer, etc…Lots of thoughts, tasks, activity, and anticipation…
Now, I’m back in Ijamsville, MD in the house that I grew up in during high school. My true home. I feel different being in this house this time around…I look at my high school picture on the wall from ten years ago-I’m definitely a different person than that naive girl in that picture. Am I tainted? Maybe. More guarded? Definitely. Experienced in life? In a sense yes, but I still have tons to learn…My perspective on life has changed a bit…The little things tend to not bother me as much, but I am definitely easily irritated by people who are so blessed and still have so much to complain about in this country.
I sat next to an entrepreneur on the airplane today who broke into the real estate industry back in the 70’s in California, ended up buying a 11,000-acre ranch with a lake in the center of the property back in 1998. He describes this ranch as a place where he wants to create a Utopian society where he is the “Chief of a Sovereign Nation.” As a matter of fact, he calls himself “Chief.” He wants to develop a Peace Center for people and local Indian tribes to gain situational and “life awareness” of the earth and its surroundings. I asked him if he had found ultimate inner peace in his own life. I mean for anyone to try and build a Peace Center, you would think that he would be living proof of having that inner sense of peace, right? No. He didn’t even know what true inner peace was! Here he is, a man who has spent over 12 million dollars in court fees to oppose a government that wants to take his land for redistribution and sales, that thrives on the continuous opposition and the “warfare,” as he called it. Yet, he wants to make a Peace Center??!! So, it made me think…here we are in the world, pursuing the American Dream with relentless drive and hard work ethic…but then at the end of the day, we are not necessarily inherently satisfied with that pursuit or even the outcome of it?! I don’t get it. Strive to create peace and yet, have none of our own deep down? I sat in my middle seat on that airplane baffled…
War, relentless opposition, challenge, violence, fear, danger, rage, death… Here we are fighting a war in Afghanistan with our own dying every day so that the average American can pursue this so called “American Dream.” Don’t get me wrong. I am a direct bi-product of a man who ran after the American Dream, but why do people put so much focus on asserting these rights and freedoms when they don’t necessarily comprehend the sacrifices that have been made in order that one may be able to exercise them? I’ve only seen a taste of the war. I’m not a senior enlisted soldier or marine in the infantry that has done 15 tours in the Middle East, but I have seen a lifetime’s worth of trauma, death, and the aftermath of the violence from it in this one deployment alone. One’s perspective on life will change when living day to day, being reminded of life and death…
So, this is what happens after the fact…after being deployed in the desert. You are forced to live outside of the American bubble and it’s ideals at war, and you start to realize just how much life truly is worth and how much we take it for granted. Inner peace to me comes with knowing at the end of the day that if it’s your time to leave this earth and move on, that you have truly lived a full and blessed life, with no true regret and that you are inherently okay with who you are in that one moment in time. I’m okay with who I am now and who I have become. I am the first to admit that I definitely am not perfect, but if it had been my time over in the A-stan, I would have been okay with that…Now, I am pressing on with the rest of my life that I am free to live and am in pursuit of living it to the best of my ability…
Back from the desert for good…Feels so good to be home in the U.S.A.!
Blurry view from the bus of my mom and cousin as I was about to step off and greet them…
Mom, Lily, and I-they are the best!
“On behalf of our crew and flight staff with Ryan Air, we are glad that you are going home and thank you for your service…” said the flight attendant as we were landing at Miramar Air Station in California this morning…
All day today-on the plane, at the airports, being greeted by VFW veterans in Illinois-has been a reminder of the fact that I am going home…We started our flight in Manas, Kyrgyzstan at 11:30am on Monday, July 12th to Bucharest, Romania then to Leipzig, Germany, onward to Keflavik, Iceland to Rockford, Illinois and finally to Miramar, California. We arrived at about 3am P.S.T., Tuesday, July 13th and after 29 hours of travel, I was so tired and yet, so excited to be home!
So many mixed emotions on the trip here, especially on the ride from Miramar to Camp Pendleton-anxious about coming home and transitioning again, my head is spinning knowing that I have a ton of things on my “to do” list before I leave California, dreading the checking out process when I get back from liberty, preparing for my trip to Hawaii next week, excited to see my family and teary-eyed just thinking about it-all at the same time. I’m home. I’m safe. And the most important thing-I’m still me…maybe a little tainted by the war, frustrated with a third world society and the politics that come with trying to protect and help them, but also more aware of why our heroes are fighting there every day. I can truly and honestly say that I was a part of all of that-having worked at two large level III hospitals over there, as well as giving level II “damage control” care to the freshly wounded. There is so much to think about and it’s hard to not get caught up in everything. Every day life here in the States seems so mundane…but the trade off is being safe and having the freedom to live as an American…
Speaking of which, I went to Starbucks and had a grande soy chai latte this morning. I had breakfast at a little pastry, nook and cranny shop called “Petite Madeline’s” and ordered smoked salmon benedict. This world seems so far from the one I was just in 5 days ago…The freedom to choose, buy, speak, live…That is the freedom that those heroes I walked amongst every day out there is fighting for…People will never really understand what I have been through-the world that we had the chance to live in, and the lifestyle we led…except for my “band of brothers” that I have come to know and bond with so well…
I’m going to try to rest today and the next few days, and not get caught up in the “rat race.” I just want to relax. I’ve been running on 12 cylinders mentally, physically, emotionally, and professionally the past 7 months. God truly is so good and being able to talk about my time in Afghanistan is a true testament of His goodness. I just want to breathe, step back, and truly be thankful and grateful for the time that I have to enjoy life, friends, and family. That I truly feel like I rate and deserve…I am so grateful to the Lord for keeping us safe while we were in Afghanistan and I’m going to leave it at that…
Really? Did that JUST happen? The journey begins today…
Did I really leave Afghanistan? REALLY? With less than 10 hrs. notice, I was on a plane to leave country. The plane taking me away from what has become part of my life forever these past 7 months…my journey back home has begun.
When I stepped off of the airplane today, I saw green trees, clouds, and didn’t feel sand or intolerable heat against my skin! Simple reminders that I am NO longer in Afghanistan! It’s so weird to feel a cool breeze, be around ONLY Americans, and to be able to see and smell green foliage! I am taking the next few days to really reflect on the past 7 months and how much I have grown as a person and as a Naval officer. I am definitely a bit anxious and nervous to come home, but I am so ready to move on with what’s in store for me in the next year! I am so excited! I get butterflies and teary-eyed just thinking about stepping off of the bus and onto that huge concrete parade deck at Camp Pendleton with my family and friends waiting to see me come home…Will I transition back to American life smoothly? Having to really face the reality of who I have become and the life that I left behind seven months ago is daunting. I am excited, though…I am a new person, I feel. I have been stretched mentally, physically, emotionally, professionally-in just about every way possible. I have come out of it, though…understanding more about life and what and who is important to me. My life priorities have become more clear-whether that be what I want to do professionally or as Hannah.
I know what I want and who I want in my life. Deployment really weeds out what and who are important to me…I am ready to start anew as this transformed person. Another layer of my exterior has been peeled away, getting closer to the butterfly within…The thing is-I know that I’m a butterfly. I am proud of who I am, what I have accomplished, and who I have become. This deployment has been by no means easy-moving from forward operating base to forward operating base, mission to mission, with no real place or permanent bed to sleep on. I’m ready to stay put for a while. Decisions continue to lie ahead and hang over my head, but I’m ready to face those decisions head on and to make them when I get back. I am excited for my future, excited to see my family, my best friends, and to go back to Italy to enjoy the rest of my time there. I can’t wait! I’ll admit-I was dreading this deployment, despite volunteering, because I knew that I would come back changed, challenged, stretched, and worn down. I’m okay with that, though. I’d much rather that than be idle, complacent, and bored. I’m so close to being home, I can taste it! Feelings of yet another life transition and how my family and friends will see me when I get back rests on the back of my mind, but all I can do is smile. Last mile of this marathon to go and the end is in sight…I’ve come this far, and I’m not going to quit now. The journey truly has begun, even though another one is about to end…
July 8, 2010-Last night in the A-stan with my girls! Gissella Martinez, Rachel Passmore, myself, and Nikki Hurst at Camp Viking’s Danish Coffee Shop…
I got my pin and I’m on my way out…
July 7, 2010-After my Fleet Marine Force Warfare Pin pinning ceremony
After almost 2 months of studying for my FMF pin, I passed the written exam, sat through my oral board, and got pinned today! I am TOTALLY excited about this accomplishment. The Fleet Marine Force pin means that I know the ins and outs of how the Marine Corps is organized and how Marines are employed in their specific jobs and areas. The oral board itself is the most intimidating. I sit in front of two Navy officers that are FMF qualified and a Marine Corps officer, as they grill me for two hours on Marine Corps knowledge. I had to be able to identify the mm of 4 different types of ammunition, do land navigation, and take apart my 9mm pistol ON TOP of knowing everything general there is to know about the Marine Corps-history, aviation, ground pounding grunts, logistics, amphibious operations, etc. I am so blessed and grateful to have been given this opportunity and will be proud to wear it when I go back to Italia! The end is near…I am glad that I got my pin on this deployment with the Marines! Hoo-rah, Devil Dogs! I am proud to be serving with you!
To Camp Dwyer…
Posing with the I.C.U. staff at the Combat Army Support Hospital at Camp Dwyer the day of our departure after being presented or AAM’s…
After being at Camp Leatherneck for all of a week or so, we were tasked to help support the Army Combat Support Hospital in the southern part of the Helmand Province at Camp Dwyer…12 days on loan to the Army to be an ICU nurse. I felt like part of the Navy/Army-a.k.a. Narmy. Living conditions weren’t really the greatest. Our A/C would cut out during the day in the heat of the day…We worked 12-hour night shifts. You do the math…12 days of not so much sleep. We were promised to be flown back to Leatherneck on July 5th. Spending the 4th of July away from our company, in a new location, and in Afghanistan of all places…was interesting…I remember where I was last year. I was on President Obama’s front lawn at the White House, listening to him talk about bringing more troops home from Afghanistan and his plan to do so…Little did I know that I was going to soon be part of that one year later. How crazy is that? Independence Day, just like Memorial Day, took on a whole different meaning for me. I have been working with the warriors out here that have been fighting for that freedom. To be in Afghanistan during the 4th of July, despite the environment and being in a combat zone, was rewarding. At Dwyer, we took care of some of our own as well as locals. I truly reached my breaking point after taking care of a 21-year old enemy prisoner of war that had shot at our Marines. He ended up getting a gunshot wound to the chest and was in critical condition. Needless to say, it wasn’t the fact that he was a prisoner of war, it was the fact that he spit, disregarded me as a female, and treated me as if I was inferior to him. For once during this deployment, I have tasted what it’s like to be a female in this society…how awful is that? I found that my tolerance for this patient population had been becoming less and less. I missed being back home in the States, knowing that I was treated equally and that I have rights. In the eyes of these Afghani men, I was merely the female serving them-emptying his drains and urinals, medicating him, feeding him water, moving the position of his bed up and down…to me, he was one of my patients, another human being…not quite his perspective.
Looking back, I’m starting to feel more and more frustrated with this war and the politics. I’m okay with the fact that I have taken care of more local Afghani nationals, Afghan Army, Afghan National Police, etc…but it’s hard to wrap my mind around a culture that continues to de-humanize women! I’m not trying to get on a soap box here, but I felt it first hand in that I.C.U. that night.
This year, that is what Independence Day truly meant to me-the ability to think autonomously, pursue my ambitions, and to be regarded as a peer amongst men. I am free to do those things and for that I am grateful. We are headed back to Leatherneck today to be with the rest of our company, and I have never been more excited to be back with the Marines! Happy 4th of July to everyone back home and Italia! I love and miss you all!
Back to Leatherneck…
LT Broc Mushet (combat dentist-we call them dentites), LTJG Jon Hamrick (FRSS critical care nurse), and I getting ready to transport a patient…This is how we roll at Delaram! =)
So, we left Delaram 2 recently, moving onto bigger and better things and onto the next adventure of this deployment journey…If I were to relate Delaram 2 to a place back home, it would be like the countryside of Afghanistan. The sky is so clear at night, with no man-made lights to decrease the star’s illumination. It’s so clear that you can even see the milky way and shooting stars…Peaceful, tucked away from all of the hustle and bustle, despite being kinetic. A few days ago, we touched down in Camp Leatherneck, leaving that amazing “countryside” and I realized how much of the “city” Leatherneck was….dusty, new construction going up, populated, integrated. It just isn’t the same. I miss Delaram 2 and the people that were there, but I know that it still wouldn’t be the same if we were to go back. What we had at Delaram was awesome-an amazing group of military medical professionals…the cream of the crop-living together, working together, and carrying out the mission of providing medical care to our wounded as well as to the local population of Delaram. We became a family, learned about each other’s quirks and idiosyncracies, strengths, weaknesses, boiling points-the essence of life. We were the shock trauma platoon and forward resuscitative team pioneers of Delaram 2. There is now a legacy and a precedent for future teams to uphold. We set the standard of medicine in that community. It was sad to leave along with all of the memories that we’ve made the past two months since being there. Onto our new journey, though! That’s how deployments go!
After arriving to Leatherneck, we immediately had to re-acclimate to the “city” life. Longer lines for food at the DFAC (dining facility), porter-potty like showers and bathrooms, more people at the gym, more military brass walking around. Camp Leatherneck is the melting pot. Georgian, Afghanis, U.S. Navy, U.S. Army, USMC, U.S. Air Force, British Army, British Royal Marines, Danish Army, Swedish Army-this place is a huge conglomeration of different military multi-national forces. A lot more to do and a lot more busy…I’m just taking things one day at a time…As time goes by, it’s getting closer to coming home…We have been talking about things in the States that we miss so much. You don’t realize what you really have until it’s gone…We truly are so blessed in America! I am truly blessed to have family and friends that are supportive too!
July 4th is approaching and summer just begun…This time last year I was getting ready to move to Italy, ready for the next chapter in my life. It’s funny how that works. The past year has been nothing but new adventures and chapters for me. Moving from the States to Italy and then deploying to Afghanistan….now going back to the States and then resuming my tour in Italy. I think that God knew what I needed by sending me on this deployment. I needed a true fresh start to my life (as if moving to Italy already wasn’t!). I have met amazing people this past year and have been blessed to have been given the chance to walk in the footsteps of our heroes-past and present. I have learned what sacrifice for our country’s freedom really means…Onto our next adventure and new chapter in my Afghanistan book…I can’t wait to see what God has in store next!
Post Memorial Day thoughts…
Candid Shot at Camp Leatherneck back in February…
We just celebrated Memorial Day and it will definitely be one to go down in the books for me. There’s nothing like being in Afghanistan and honoring those who have served, are serving, and will be serving in the armed forces. It all makes sense now…day in and day out, men and women from all over put their lives on the line so that everyone back home can go about their business and live their lives uninterrupted. It was not a Memorial Day full of BBQ’s, beers, and games. It was the same as any other day out here…Our day ended with the evening Memorial Day service, honoring those that have been killed in action out here in Afghanistan so far. It just brings the whole meaning of Memorial Day home…Speaking of which-I’m really starting to miss home, but I know that there is still so much more that needs to be done out here! I continually feel inspired, knowing that I am here for a purpose…a purpose to serve those serving us.
I watched the sunrise this morning and just admired how beautiful Afghanistan is…the stars at night and the sunsets are breathtaking…but in seeing the beauty, it’s hard not to think about how long people have been fighting over this land…It’s sad how desolate and Taliban-overrun this country truly is…They say out here that for every platoon of Afghan National Army soldiers, there are on average at least two Taliban soldiers embedded amongst them. The local Afghans have no autonomy, and are being forcefully led by the corrupt; and at times given no chance but to join in with the corrupt! It’s a vicious cycle! To think about the politics of this war seems not only hopeless, but mentally draining! I hold onto the little victories-it’s the little, every day glimmers of hope and promise that keep me going and faith knowing that God is going to bring us home safe…
It’s June now, and summer is already upon us. Now that the harvest season is over for the poppy farmers, things should get pretty interesting in these last few months…Fighting season is about to commence, but again, I am blessed to be alive and safe! God has been good to us! I’m taking it one day at a time out here, because that’s all that we can really do…
Before I forget-a shout out to all of my closest friends and loved ones that just got promoted-LTJG Josh Castillo, LT Kim Albero, LT Ingrid Garrett, LT Susie Carl, LT Malachy Soller, LT Julie Zelman, and LT Jessie Peralta-you are all my heroes! Thank you for what you do! I am proud to be serving with you! Thanks also to all of those continuing to pray for us and for being so supportive!
