Back in Italia! Thoughts and honest feelings…
The view off of my back patio! I love Italia in the summer! Bella Bacoli!
So, it’s been ten days since I’ve been back in Italy…Talk about double culture shock. Afghanistan back to the States and then from the States back to Italy…Like the Beatles say, “Obladi, Obladah! Life goes on…la, la, la, la life goes on.” Lots of transition in the past few months and now, but hopefully things will start to settle down. New job, living back in my apartment again, re-adjusting to the culture, new faces, new car, new way of life…I forgot how much I really missed Italian culture! I have grown to appreciate the Italian family-centered culture from being away. I have to figure out how to fit the pieces back together and realize that the life I left before going to Afghanistan is no more…I am a changed person with a different life perspective and I have realized what my priorities need to be. Even the idea of feeling “normal” is new! (Honestly, though, isn’t the term “normal” merely something relative?)
Going from 12 cylinders to about 2 has been a bit of an adjustment…but good! It’s been a while since I’ve been forced to slow down.
I was asked to give a speech last week in front of my peers at USNH Naples on what I did and how Afghanistan was…It was really hard to speak publicly without getting really teary-eyed. Maybe it’s all still too fresh for me…but I’m okay with having honest feelings because I know what we all did out there. I know what the rest of our company is still doing out there. It’s definitely easy to get back into the groove of life, and completely try to block out everything that has happened in the past 7 months. I don’t want to, though. I have never felt more real and alive than I did when I was over there. I felt like I belonged to something greater. I knew that I mattered, that what I did every day was making a difference in this war, despite feeling like it was an enternity. We didn’t care about awards or accolades. We cared about each other and the Marine, Soldier, Airmen, or Sailor lying on our operating table or in our shock trauma platoon bed or in the combat support hospital’s ICU bed. You can only imagine how hard it is to come back because it feels like everything else seems mundane. I have to take a step back though…How blessed am I to be able to come back and live in such awesome beauty and culture? I am blessed. I am loved and supported by my family and friends. For these things, I am truly grateful. 
Dad and I after the Welcome Home Warrior Ceremony…August 18, 2010
Being in Italia has taken on a new meaning for me. It’s time to celebrate life. To celebrate all of the things that I have taken for granted for so long. This is time for Hannah. Time for moving onto new chapters, new friends, and new memories to be created…The memories that I have of Afghanistan will forever be stained and engrained in my life.”I am an American, fighting in the forces which guard our country and our way of life. I am willing to give my life in it’s defense.”-That first article in the fighting man’s code of conduct takes on a whole new meaning for me. The playing of the national anthem or raising of the American flag all mean so much to me now. I get it. I get why I was sent to the desert this past year-to be humbled, to give back to those serving us, and to truly come to understand and appreciate why we as military servicemen do what we do. We are just doing what we have been trained to do. It does not make us perfect, but rather slightly blemished and forever changed. I truly am proud to be an American and am proud to be serving alongside those that have served and will continue to serve in the days to come…I am thankful for life and the opportunity to live it freely! God truly has been so good to me!
